For Kafs, the best friend a girl can have
My closest friend died last night. And I am angry. Angry that he died so young and abandoned me just like that. And angry that I didn't even find out till this afternoon. Cardiac arrest at 32! What kind of world are we living in now?
Kafs, you were there for me through so much all these years. And now, suddenly, you are not. And I don't know how to deal with it. I don't want to believe that you are no longer just a phone call away.
I don't know how to describe my relationship with you. I still remember the day I was introduced to you on the steps of that awful pub, Bunker, in Bangalore all those years ago. Those were still my teetotaller days and as I was sipping my lime soda, you were detailing the virtues of mixing some vodka in it to spice up my life. You asked me out that night and I only went on that drive with you only because you were so sweet and funny.
And what a drive that turned out to be. First you got pulled up for suspected drunken driving and you quickly handed the Kingfisher bottle to me and flashed that loony smile you are so famous for, at the cop and said, "She is the one drinking. I am just taking her for a drive to sober her up!" And to think, the guy actually believed you and looked at me disapprovingly - "Maydam, you are ladies. You should naat be drinking like this." And you had the cheek to say, "I told her saar!"
Ten minutes after he let us go, we found that homeless guy passed out in the middle of the deserted road. Anyone else would have just driven past. You stopped, looked at me and said, "give me a minute...i can't just leave him lying there. I have to move him to the side" and jumped out before I could say anything. Back then, I thought you were just trying to impress me. It would take me much longer to realise, you didn't care what I thought. That was just you. No hidden agendas.
And that was also our first and last 'date'. I can't remember now why the date didn't go anywhere, but what I do remember is that we were inseparable after that. And my presence glued to your side lost you many an opportunity with hot women who'd think I was 'with' you. I practically lived in your house. You threw me birthday parties, tried to set me up with strange men who you insisted were 'husband material', gave me hankies and shoulder when I needed, loaned me money when I was broke, fought many a battle for me and were my designated driver to go everywhere! Even your mom took care of me when you were not around and your maid made me many a delicious lunches and dinners.
You also finally, successfully got me to start imbibing alcohol and dealt with my drunken brawls and occasional passing out. I even wrote a post three years ago about how you dealt with one such crazy misadventure after my house party. When I sent you the link, you said - 'glad you portray me as the gentleman I am not!' But you were Kafs....in your own twisted, demented way, you cared about people close to you and you took care of them.
Oh how much we fought! How I disapproved of your various 'bimbo' girlfriends. And hated that silly card game you insisted on playing every time we had a house party. And argued with you over your incessant smoking and drunk driving. Remember that time you got so drunk and drove off from the party at Speedzone into a field and called me to come and find you coz you had no clue where you were! I was looking for you till 5 AM till you just curled up and went to sleep in the car. Only to wake up the next morning and find you were 15 km outside Bangalore on a very angry farmer's property. How much I yelled at you that day! And you just flashed me your loony smile and said," just chill ya babes. I'm here now and I'm fine and I made my first farmer friend!" That was just so typically you!
You were there through so many turning points in my life. And even when we didn't live in the same city anymore, I loved how we could just pick up from where we left off after months of not having spoken to each other. I moved to a different city and you moved to a different country. I'd still go to your place when I was in Bangalore and hang out with your mom and the cats. Then you came back and I moved to a different country, while you went back to your favorite city.
And that's where I saw you last. Diwali 2006. I was lonely and homesick in Malaysia and the festive season was looming large reminding me of how alone I was in this strange new country. I hadn't spoken to you in months. I picked up the phone on a whim and asked you what you were doing during the holidays. You didn't answer my question. You knew immediately from my voice, even though you hadn't heard it in a while, what I was feeling. You said, " Get your butt here Rams! Why you getting so formal and all with me yaar." And so I did. A quickie 3 day trip to Bombay in October 2006 to celebrate Diwali with my favorite person in the world. A trip that I'll never forget. Once again you were there for me when I needed you the most.
After that I made it a point to definitely speak to you every Diwali. And last Diwali was the last time I spoke to you.
So many memories...so many stories. Where do I begin and where do I end?
Knowing you are not there, smiling your loony smile under that scraggy beard you insist on sporting, with a cigarette in one hand and a beer in the other, telling me to just 'chill yaar'.....is very hard to deal with. I don't want to believe that you are gone. You are too young, too full of life to just not be there anymore. Remember we promised each other ten years ago, if we're both single at 30, we'd hook up. And you called me on your 30th to ask for deadline extension to 35! You can't bail out now. Its not fair!
I miss you Kafs and nothing will ever be the same. I don't want to let you go.
